Sexual Revolutionaries Mature: Baby Boomers Seek Relationship Satisfaction

If you are one of 78 million baby boomers in the U.S , you may be hearing a lot about how to become an expert at managing your stock portfolio or your cholesterol, but how good are you at managing your intimate relationship?

A new survey conducted by Harris Interactive® and sponsored by Cialis® (tadalafil)2 explores how baby boomers’3 emotional4 and physical intimacy5 has evolved over time. The survey reveals that only half of boomers surveyed are satisfied with the physical intimacy in their relationship, and both sexes (41% men, 43% women) desire more emotional intimacy.

With so much room for improvement, it may be time for baby boomers to assess their own Relationship IQ (rIQ), which may help couples gain insight they can use to improve their relationship.

According to the survey, about one of three boomers say they have sex once a week or more-but nearly two out of three boomers wish they had sex that often.6

“For a lot of boomers, sex is expected, anticipated and valued,” said Dr. Joy Browne, clinical psychologist. “Boomers want emotional and physical intimacy, yet many are unclear about what to do when they don’t have the happiness, success and closeness in the bedroom that they view as their birthright.”

There are barriers to physical and emotional intimacy. Erectile dysfunction (ED) is one of the obstacles that may affect boomer men, especially as they age. For some couples, ED has an impact on both partners and can ultimately affect a couple’s overall relationship.

“Without recognition and appropriate treatment, ED can cause serious harm in a relationship, but it does not have to be a barrier,” said Dr. Bob Berkowitz, clinical sexologist. “There are treatments available and a man and his partner should consider talking to a doctor.”

According to Drs. Browne and Berkowitz, the cornerstone of a successful relationship is actively communicating and listening so that problems can be raised and openly discussed. Dr. Berkowitz added, “Couples should make time for one another, make time away from work and remove barriers to spending quality time together.” For more tips, visit www.cialisrIQ.com.

Cialis® is approved for the treatment of erectile dysfunction and is the only oral ED tablet clinically proven to work up to 36 hours. Cialis is available by prescription only and is not for everyone. Men taking nitrates, often used for chest pain, should not take Cialis. Such a combination could cause a sudden, unsafe drop in blood pressure. The most common side effects with Cialis were headache, upset stomach, delayed backache or muscle ache. As with any ED tablet, in the rare event of priapism (an erection lasting more than four hours), men should seek immediate medical attention to avoid long-term injury. Men should not drink alcohol in excess with Cialis.

Cialis does not protect a man or his partner from sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV. In rare instances, men taking prescription ED tablets (including Cialis) reported a sudden decrease or loss of vision. It’s not possible to determine if these events are related directly to the ED tablets or to other factors. If a man has a sudden decrease or loss of vision, he should stop taking any ED tablet and seek immediate medical attention. Men should discuss their medical conditions and all medications with their doctors to ensure Cialis is right for them and that they are healthy enough for sexual activity.

Individual results may vary. Cialis has not been studied for multiple attempts per dose. Cialis is not indicated for relationship improvement.

1 U.S. census bureau data 2005 (The baby boomer generation was born between 1946 and 1964). Accessed at http://www.census.gov/Press-Release/www/releases/archives/facts_for_features_special_editions/006105.html

2 Cialis® is a registered trademark of Lilly ICOS LLC.

3 “Baby boomer” refers to survey participants aged 40-70.

4 Emotional intimacy is defined as the nonphysical components of personal connection in close romantic relationships, like mutual communication and understanding, as well as the sharing of personal hopes, fears and desires with each other.

5 Physical intimacy is defined as physical closeness such as hand-holding, kissing, cuddling, and sexual intercourse.

6 rIQ Survey Results Report, Harris Interactive, sponsored by Lilly ICOS LLC. The survey was conducted online by Harris Interactive on behalf of Lilly ICOS LLC among 1,012 men and 1,013 women ages 40 to 70 in committed (five or more years) romantic relationships within the United States between March 27 and March 31, 2006. Figures for education, age, sex, race/ethnicity, region and income were weighted where necessary to bring them into line with their actual proportions in the population. Propensity score weighting was also used to adjust for respondents’ propensity to be online.

With pure probability samples, with 100 percent response rates, it is possible to calculate the probability that the sampling error (but not other sources of error) is not greater than some number. With a pure probability sample of 2,025 adults, one could say with a 95 percent probability that the overall results have a sampling error of +/- 3.2 percentage points and +/- 4.4 percentage points each for the men and women samples. Sampling error for the various sub-sample results is higher and varies. However, that does not take other sources of error into account. This online survey is not based on a probability sample and therefore no theoretical sampling error can be calculated.

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Everyone keeps a few secrets from a husband or wife, boyfriend and girlfriend. And people keep their secrets for a lot of reasons. Often people are embarrassed or they are fearful of a partner’s hostility or possible rejection.

And research shows that it is in one’s best interest to keep some things private, especially when partners or spouses are likely to respond poorly to the truth. Being rejected, scorned, or stigmatized does not help any one work through a serious issue.

But, keeping secrets can also be harmful.

Keeping secrets often prevents people from dealing with the problem at hand. Keeping secrets leads to increased stress, anxiety, and it often makes people think about the issue (event or topic) more frequently.

For instance, people who have a secret crush on someone often dwell on their feelings more than people who are able to talk about their feelings out in the open. More often than not, keeping something secret makes it seem more important than it really is.

Likewise, revealing secrets is very helpful when it is done right; that is, in a safe, non-judgmental environment. Revealing secrets can reduce stress, it helps people let go of an issue and think about it more clearly.

If a secret is bothering you, it really does help to get it out – as long people don’t respond negatively or use the information against you.

In fact, research shows that the simple task of writing down a secret, even if no one ever reads it, makes people feel better. Writing a secret down reduces stress – it is cathartic.

With this in mind, we have created a place where people can anonymously reveal the secrets they keep. Maybe you will find that letting go of one of your own secrets is helpful and not so embarrassing after all.

Infidelity is definitely not a new issue for couples today. Unfaithfulness seems to be a major problem in many relationships in today’s society, as it has always been in the history of romance.

The first step any couple must take in recovering from infidelity is to determine if the relationship should be or can be salvaged. The following are seven critical questions you need to ask yourself and your partner to know if your relationship can survive.

1.) Is the situation isolated, or is it a pattern. In other words, has the unfaithful partner shown patterns of infidelity or unfaithful behaviors in the past, or is this disloyalty a one-time thing?

2.) Do you feel that your spouse owns up to what they have done, or do they make excuses?

3.) Do they understand exactly what this has done to you, and how much they have hurt you? Do they realize the gravity of the situation?

4.) Are they truly sorry for the choice that they made, or are they just sorry that they were caught?

5.) Is this person willing to clean up the mess, and do what it takes to mend what they have done? Or, do they just want to forget about it and move on? Are they willing to give up their freedom to enable you to trust them again?

6.) Is doing this out of character for your partner, or are they insensitive in other areas of your relationship together? Do they really care about how you feel or about your well being?

7.) Is infidelity a part of their legacy? Did they grow up like this, or is this new behavior for them that is not present in their past, including family and past relationships?

Think about what these questions mean to you and to the survival of your
relationship. Be careful not to lie to yourself about the situation, and ask yourself these questions honestly. Don’t be afraid to seek out professional help, and talk to them about the questions above. The biggest decision for you to make in the road ahead, is whether or not you should try to save your relationship.